


oscillation

by plentify



Series: 26 short stories for soonhoon [1]
Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Angst, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, M/M, implied dementia, jihoon is a good bf
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-13
Updated: 2018-03-13
Packaged: 2019-03-30 19:02:02
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,510
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13957980
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/plentify/pseuds/plentify
Summary: Jihoon reminds himself to bring the two pills sitting on the counter before they leave.





	oscillation

**Author's Note:**

> A is for Astronomy

       Jihoon swears the security guard is giving them weird looks.

       Not that he particularly cares. The brochure is getting damp from the sweat from his hand. At least four people have come to ask him if he needs help finding his parents, and he really would like to finish his english comp homework.

       But Soonyoung just wouldn’t shut up. Jihoon refuses to admit that he’s whipped.

       It’s not that he’s enjoying himself; he’s been close to just walking out of the planetarium about three times now. He knows Soonyoung is giving him the opportunity to. He goes to buy a drink and explicitly says that Jihoon can do whatever he wants. But Jihoon is a fool, and he waits half an hour watching the giant pendulum in the main lobby swing back and forth.

       Soonyoung pretends not to be surprised that Jihoon is still walking next to him, although he is grumbling. That much, Soonyoung doesn’t mind. He’s surprised Jihoon even agreed to it in the first place. But he’s not complaining.

       He doesn’t like the screaming children any more than Jihoon does. But he needs a break. He knows secretly, Jihoon needs one too.

       “Are you doing this for a project?” Jihoon absentmindedly asks as they wait in line for the movie, “Don’t you already know all this stars and dust business?”

       “I’m not an astrology major Hoonie,” Soonyoung bounces in his spot. Jihoon finds it endearing, “It’s just too hot outside to go to the amusement park.”

       Jihoon chooses to ignore the implication that this is some kind of date and sips on the soda Soonyoung had bought.

       He also chooses to ignore the fact that it's raining outside in favor of shuffling next to his boyfriend as the line moves.

 

       The theater is huge, dark, and Jihoon feels Soonyoung clinging onto his arm so he doesn’t walk into the railing. They find seats right in the middle where they can look up at the screen and be completely immersed.

       Jihoon can’t say he isn’t in awe at the 2D stars projected onto the screen. They twinkle across the black backdrop, and Jihoon feels alone and at peace. The narrator talks about the beginning of Earth and the rotation of the planet. But Jihoon is too busy captivated by the constellations. He shouldn’t be; he’s seen an artificial Orion and projections of the Gemini constellation dozens upon dozens of times. But there is he, mouth half agape in childish wonder.

       A hand on his own brings him back down to Earth.  

       “Jihoon.”

       The moment he hears sniffling, he whips his head to see Soonyoung crying.

       “Let’s eat well okay?”

       The mother on the right is giving Soonyoung a worried look. The movie plays on, nonetheless, but Jihoon could care less about the radius of Mercury or how wide Jupiter’s rings are. He goes to wipe away the tears that stream down Soonyoung's cheeks.

       “And, and let’s go to a lot of place. And I know you’re always really busy but let’s go on more dates. It doesn’t even have to be to anywhere fancy. Let’s go on convenience store dates and eat cheap ramen and forget about college for a few hours. I don’t wanna be stuck in this routine life. I don’t wanna die unhappy.”

       Jihoon grasps Soonyoung’s hand. It’s shaking, and Jihoon is scared. He had never liked any of this infinite universe thing; that’s why he chose an english major. All the stars and dust can be generalized as fiction. English was finite in human language; it could vent about the meaningless of life or sing about the gross beauty of love, but in the end it was still just words. But Soonyoung, Soonyoung studies how delicate everything in the universe is. He’s taught how things work and about the vast solar system. Soonyoung reads about these things and accepts it as true. Jihoon thinks he’s a coward for being able to hide from it all while making Soonyoung face it.

       “Soonyoung-”

       “Jihoon,” Soonyoung hiccups. They’re talking about black holes now. The brilliant theoretical beauty of seeing the history of the universe just before plummeting into an inevitable death, “Let’s get married in the future, okay? I mean you don’t have to but-”

       “No, let’s get married,” Jihoon smiles and wipes away at Soonyoung’s cheeks.

 

       “I’m glad we could do this,” Soonyoung murmurs, “You spend too much time writing these days.”

       “Idiot, it’s my professor’s fault.”

       Soonyoung giggles as they exit the planetarium.

       “Remember you said you would marry me.”

       Jihoon scoffs, “I will if you don’t forget to ask me.”

       “I would never!” Soonyoung looks horrified, and Jihoon almost laughs, “You would be the one to forget!”

       They’re about halfway back to their apartment when Soonyoung stops in the middle of the sidewalk. He pulls out his phone and makes a face. A few more minutes pass, and Jihoon's smile begins to feel heavy.

       “Hoonie? My phone says that I’m supposed to ask you for pills?”

       Jihoon’s feels himself shattering. His chest drowns as he digs through his pocket to find the little baggy. Inside are two orange pills.

       “Hoonie?”

       Jihoon takes in the entire atmosphere in one breathe before turning around, “Yeah?”

       “My phone says you’re supposed to tell me about Hoshi.”

       Jihoon chokes on a sob. It blindsides him, and Soonyoung's confused expression only serves to make it worse. He feels the veins in his wrists wrapping around and prickling at his skin, forcing him into the pavement under him. Jihoon can manipulate his own mind into thinking the scary things are only fiction. It’s in his major; too much reading and eventually feelings become bland and diluted. But Soonyoung has crawled out from his British lit textbook and held him by the throat, throttling him and screaming, begging for him to feel something. He wants to run away, but Soonyoung won’t let him.

       “Hoonie?”

       “Yes?”

       “Who’s Hoshi?”

 

_“Soonyoung! Open the door!”_

_It’s a bit ironic how it would usually be Soonyoung banging on Jihoon’s door, begging him to come out and eat a meal or go home and get some proper sleep. Seeing how he never listened to him, Jihoon doesn’t see any reason why Soonyoung should answer him._

_The lunch Jihoon cradles in his hands is going cold. The rice is stiff and the pork is cold. He wills himself not to cry, forces himself not to. Because he doesn’t deserve to cry. Because he couldn’t even take care of his boyfriend._

_“Excuse me?”_

_Jihoon lifts his head in shame to see Soonyoung peer over him. He looks at the food and back at Jihoon’s face._

_“Who are you?”_

 

_“It’s curable.”_

_Somehow the words aren’t as comforting as they should be. The doctor seems uneasy, and immediately Jihoon knows something is wrong. He sets down his homework, looking up to ask for more of an explanation._

_“He just needs to take pills regularly. I’m sure you can help him with that, but…”_

_“But?” Jihoon’s chest constricts. He wills that all of this is a dream, that he’ll wake up in Soonyoung’s bed with a major headache and Soonyoung singing in the kitchen. Anything._

_“Only the short term memories will be lost. He’ll remember your name after a few weeks but I’m afraid that his condition will put a strain on your relationship.”_

_“What can I do?”_

_The doctor sits herself next to Jihoon and places her clipboard down. It’s a sign of weakness, pity. Things Jihoon desperately seeks but detests at the moment._

_“Is there something he likes? Something you guys can do regularly?”_

_Jihoon thinks it’s a pity Soonyoung ended up with someone like him. Someone who was too caught up in work to give his boyfriend a goodnight hug. He curses at himself for being so selfish, for getting too comfortable with Soonyoung’s cheerful smiles and quick kisses before he leaves for classes. How could he assume Soonyoung would always come back to the apartment after his dance lessons and predict that he would come knocking on the studio door if he stayed in there for too long?_

_The doctor is still there. Jihoon quickly grounds himself by remembering the gov assignment that’s due in two days. He remembers that his professor will chastise him if he doesn’t put the page numbers at the top right hand corner, and that he’ll have to cover his co-worker’s shift at the radio station._

_It’s hilarious how as Jihoon’s world is crashing on itself, the universe continues on._

_“Stars. He likes the stars.”_

 

       Jihoon is in the middle of cooking some leftovers, struggling to stay awake after spending the entire night finishing that idiotic essay his professor generously assigned only two days prior. He stirs at the noodles, trying to recall what else he has to do until Soonyoung comes behind him with a spare backpack. He automatically wraps his arms around Jihoon’s waist and rests his chin on his shoulder. It’s oddly domestic and normal. Jihoon turns to see Soonyoung’s smile, huge and bright. 

       “Let’s go to the planetarium today.”

**Author's Note:**

> It was supposed to just be a fluffy soonhoon date but I manage to ruin everything whoops.


End file.
